The Desire to be a Good Person

Esha Kode

30 March 2022

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After venting about something I did yesterday, my roommate said to me, “Esha, you don’t have to be THAT good of a person. No one is that good or perfect. ” Though she said it jokingly, it stuck with me.

The “Self-Help” area of content has been on the rise – especially since the pandemic began in 2020. More and more people are becoming popular on YouTube, many more are creating amazing podcasts, and some are writing killer novels. Every one of them has a different way of conveying, essentially, the same message about life: how to be better human beings.

One of the most notable people known for helping people find inner peace and develop a better lifestyle is Jay Shetty. I watched so many of Jay’s YouTube videos and listened to several of his podcast episodes throughout 2020. He speaks about our natural human tendencies and offers solutions to become “better” people.

One of the things that stayed with me after reading his book, Think Like a Monk, was the chapter on gossiping. He claims that “negative feelings come out in the form of complaints, comparisons, and criticism. All three are dangerous traps to fall into because they cause us to forget the blessings we have in our own lives.”

I remember, after reading that chapter, I started questioning everything about my existence (LMAO). I felt like a terrible person for complaining to my mom about something someone did and venting to my friend about someone else for doing something terrible.

But here I am in college, surrounded by amazingly amazing people. At the same time, I’m also surrounded by people who breed negativity and toxicity. I learned that I do not need to feel guilty for talking about people who truly hurt my soul. However, it does scare the crap out of me when I speak about the amazingly amazing people (I’m not sure if this made sense, but I’m just trying to get my feelings out here y’all).

That’s when Shivani told me that it was okay. It’s okay to go back to our natural human tendencies. Us human beings are gossipers, and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, that inner sapient self comes out. This is when we have to be gentle with ourselves. This is also when we must realize that it is impossible to be a “perfect” person. We’re all flawed. And yes, it’s an amazing thing to be able to recognize our flaws and work on them. But it’s also okay if we mess up. We’re messy people living in a messy world.

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